I was feeling religious...

I got this in an email last night. I think I have read it before, but I got such a good chuckle I thought I'd share...


There are 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn't get a fair trial

But then there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God

But then there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil

But then there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion

But then there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit

But then there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do.

No Joke...

Logan has speech therapy every Friday morning in Cookeville. Trad took him today and decided to take Abby also. I received these 2 pics that he took during speech...

This one spells 'cake'...duh...

But...That message was obviously not enough...So there was another one...

PDQ...Pretty Darn Quick!!

Now, I know what you are thinking...Not bad for an almost 4-year-old...The only thing is...

Logan didn't spell them...

It was Abby!!!

She is obviously a 16 month old genius!!!

Hell Explained by a Chemistry Student

I hope no one gets offended by this but I thought it was hilarious!! It was sent to me by a girl that I used to babysit when I was a teenager. She is a student at UT and I am so proud of her! (But that's beside the point!!)


HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the Rate at which souls enter Hell, and then the Temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls
And is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

The cold, hard truth...

[I LOVE this comic strip!! I read it on Yahoo comics. The artist mimics her life in the strip. I mainly read it because one of her children is autistic, and sometimes she adds that into her comic. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who gets stares and glares!]

Redneck birthday

Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?



"Yes, What can I do for you?"



"I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith...He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there."



"Thank you very much for the call, sir."



The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.



Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.



"Hey Virgil! This here's Floyd...Did the Sheriff come?"



"Yeah!"



"Did they chop your firewood?"



"Yep!"



"Happy Birthday, buddy!"



Rednecks know how to git-r-done!!

But it's FREE!!

For years and years I worked at Wal-Mart. I ALWAYS had to work the day after Thanksgiving. That meant of course that I never got to shop the sales. I guess I didn't really want to, but not having the option to was torture.

When I finally quit I decided that I would go in Wal-Mart during the blitz (Wal-Mart lingo for the after-Thanksgiving deals) just because I could. Well, I was hooked. Now I am not one of these crazy people that would stand in line for hours just to get a toy or electronics. I do, however, enjoy the hustle and bustle of the beginning of the Christmas season.

That's right...I said I ENJOY going shopping on black Friday.

(I am getting way off the original subject here!)

Ok...So I get up at 3 am this morning so I can get a shower and be at JC Penney by 4 am, when they opened. As I am standing in line I hear a few people talking about why they are also there, standing in line at 4 am. It isn't the great sales, it is the free snow globe you get. You read it correctly, we fools were standing in line for a freakin' snow globe! (And I do this every year.) How funny are we as humans to go to such great lengths just to get something free?!!

Now I didn't buy anything at JC Penney and I am not sure about the other people either. I had to hurry because my next stop was Wal-Mart, where nothing is free, but the prices are good. I would not have otherwise went to Penney's. I am sure that if they stop the snow globes that they will lose business.

People just like free things and will do crazy things to get them!

The million dollar question...

Here I am in the middle of cooking Thanksgiving dinner and something occurs to me...

I am making a ridiculously large amount of deviled eggs. I am using all of my nice pampered chef utensils to make everything look nice. I am cutting the eggs in half...placing them on the deviled egg dish...there is an odd number of spaces on the dish!

If you half an egg you get TWO pieces...

Two is an EVEN number (last time I checked)

So why in the world would there be an ODD number of spaces???

I HAVE to know the answer to this or I will lose sleep!!!

The only thing that I can figure out is that a MAN designed this dish. One that has never made deviled eggs...